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is Super Mensa's resident pedophile.

There was a time when Hatter was relatively infamous on the forums for his high-brow humor depicting sexual acts with Pedophilia, Fags, and his immense disdain for Antonio. Recently, he has calmed down quite a bit and matured. One example is when he met fellow poaster, Wicked Journal, got shit-your-pants drunk, scribbled senseless and hilarious ramblings in some poor waitress' journal (why it was at the bar is still beyond comprehension), then passed out in his own filth sitting shotgun in Wicked Journal's 1984 Ford F-150 with the mudflaps and "Minorities: Keep Back 500 Feet" bumper sticker. If a new girl comes to the forum, rest assured that Hatter will be part of the welcome wagon and embrace her with the charm and charisma that Jordan's uncle had when he diddled him as a child.

Hatter is well-known for his hateful jokes that borderline comedy. He once called Serpico a "pretentious dick" because he mentioned he was drinking "East African coffee", whether "East African coffee" was a euphemism for a Yemen broad's sweaty twat is highly debatable in Horrorcore circles to this day.

In 2005, Hatter set off on a quest to establish himself as the finest actor of his generation. With the dashing good looks of a young Gilbert Gottfried, the acting abilties of Boner from Growing Pains, and the emotional range of a salamander; he set off for Bollywood. One night after an appearance as an extra on the feature war film Tora, Tora, Tora Another Hole in My Pants, starring Stacy, he went to a bar to celebrate. After consuming copious amounts of semen extracted from a raging alcoholic because the job only paid 4 Rubles, he set off on a sexual conquest. Once rejected by a woman who resembled Rocky Dennis, he set his sights on a nice Hebrew woman that looked like Mr. Kotter. After a night of glorious sex (READ: 37 seconds worth), he left for Somali, where he fell in with the wrong crowd.

In 2010, Hatter had a lucrative job lined up in Pennsylvania before he completely went bat shit and decided to meet some young harlot named Jordie in Mississippi. She had a Riff Raff from Rocky Horror haircut and she always wore flip flops with socks to hide a big toe that had no nail on it. After she broke his heart and stole his wallet, he went on a journey to find himself. This journey was funded by cruising truckstops and doing Brazilian scat films. One night, he drank 229 bottle of Zima and after blowing what probably was the 12th trucker of the day (he lost count), he black out and when he came to he was on a bench in Toronto and in full blackface. After waking from his borderline homosexual beverage alcoholic haze, he went to go buy some apple juice and ran into Maleman. Not knowing that he was in blackface and that Maleman was in possession of a torque wrench he called "The Equalizer", poor Hatter got beaten to oblivion. When he rose from his slumber, he had a cocksucker's slur and sounded like Boston Mayor Thomas Menino. Realizing that he had to find his way to Alabama, he blew a man with a cock that resembled baseball mascot, The Philly Fanatic.

Fact sheet


"They said I had sex with children. And not only that, but said it's what I'm known for. We have residents who are known for being hospital lab techs, aspiring architects, artists(not musically speaking), people studying to be lawyers, police officers and members who proudly served/are serving in the military. I'm the one who fucks kids."

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