Ressurrector or simply Ress is a slackjawed, anti-shill, slingblade'esque horrorcore "Story Teller Rapper" who ran the Horrorcore.com spin-off site, Horror-Rap.com. Known to stare at the sun for extended periods in his childhood, Ress is afflicted with a classic case of EDF syndrome. With the mental capacity of a glue huffing 6-year old, Ress gets made fun of by Supermensans for his sheer idiocy and lack of reading, and writing comprehension. Ress has a keen interest in lunatic conspiracy theories, including but not limited to: the gobmint, the moon being fake (and sometimes illuminating colors like red), a planet colliding with earth, bottled water infecting you with gayness, and the mystery of the sun. Following a minor stint or trolling, he closed the doors to Horror-Rap.com and his e-radio station to stop the voices. Since then, he has holed himself up in his padded room and become a full-time YouTube conspiracy theorist, and part-time organizer of the Human League fan club. He was briefly running a site named NewGodReligion.com.
Ress describes "Ressurrector" as just "one voice in his sonic repertoire, and describes himself as "a "whole" horror package" from "the beats, to the piercing vocals, to the very lyrics. All in all its a "unique" sound that you either LOVE or you HATE." Ress considers his music to not be rap, hip-hop, metal, or horror core, but rather "horror rap", and that he invented a genre called 'death metal rap'. He is 100% innovation, 0& imitation. (Serpico's note: ""Death Metal Rap"...He took what Necro's gimmick has been for the last decade and put the word "metal" in there. Goddamn, what a witty son of a bitch")
In the lyrics of one of his song he sums himself up succinctly:
Ress can’t rap
Ress can’t vote
Strumming on every single hook is on, nope
Is the guy metal?
Is the guy rap?
Don’t rap like the rest so I guess he’s just crap!
So not only does he pretend he invented "death rap", but he also tries to pretend that "horrorcore" is now called "horror rap" these days; a term he invented a couple months ago when registering his horrorcore.com rip off site. Of course, he started it 10 years late.
Ress also compares himself and his musical comeback favorably to Emininem, and that he coined the phrase "true horror".
"Tombstone Throwing Incident"
In 1995 Ress stole a tombstone from an Athens,TN cemetery and threw it off a highway over pass. The tombstone hit a car driven by a Michigan woman, critically injuring the woman. Ress was locked up for a year after he was convicted.
Ress is best known as the innovator (and oft immitated) of "murmph raauarmurmph" type raps.
- Ress has the patience of 1,000 men. Once, he waited 6 years to go to a site to shill his product as a joke. Not only did he wait that long for the drama to die down, but it took 6 years to put together a few songs that literally a half a dozen people will hear.
- Ress is the type of douchebag that quotes himself in his own sig, and the quote isn't even a good one.
- Did a cover song of Ice Ice Baby
Departure from Supermensa
June 27, 2011, a day that will forever live in infamy. It was on this day that Ressurrector began his descent into insanity. It was here that Ress, Boss Hogg and all, made a name for himself in the Supermensan community. His goal? For Klown to relinquish the Horrorcore.com domain and release it to the wild. It was also here that he began formation of the Supermensa Conspiressy, whereby he acknowledged the effort to create shill sock puppet accounts to troll the jarns to stimulate user activity. He also railed against egotistical Horrorcore rappers, proclaiming, "YOU ARE NOT GODS.......................YOU PUT YOUR PANTS ON EVERY DAY JUST LIKE THE REST OF US."
In response to a forum member pushing the use of another site, Mailman pondered banning Ress, while Madhatter suggested that his new alias be Ressurrectum. Dego Locc, in typical fashion, came to the rescue of Ress and said members were "turning a mole hole into a mountain" - whatever the fuck that means. Ress emphasized that the thread was no enemy (oh no!), and called Mailman a "DDP wannabee faggot" and Dego told Mailman he "trumps him on so many levels it's fucking pathetic" while going into graphic detail about gay sex. Here, the Ress-Dego combo EDF'd in epic form. Ress, while failing to define your, threatened Mailman delete his account: or else.
In December, Ress backtracked on all of this, and claimed that he left out of protest due to censorship and members refusing to heed his message.
Descent into madness
November 1, 2011 Honky McGee brought to light the total insanity that was Ressurrectorr. In it, Ress explained for the first time that, regarding the Supermensa Conspiracy, that "There is ALOT more to this then meets the eye," and that Mailman was a master hacker and code cracker and Supermensans nothing more than trolls on roll; too scared to show up at people's houses.
Three days later he began to attribute the mass amount of bots registering and spamming to the forum and chatroom to remote users controlling them, like cyber puppet-masters. Also, he begins to make the delusional connection that HR is in fact more populous than SM, and that only 12 users post on the latter.
- "unless you've witnessed the shit that we have over the last few years... from morons spamming the hell out of the chats.. spamming e-mails to trolls like that moron yesterday which should be a example of why people should use condoms to avoid abortions like him roaming the earth"
- "Ya know communism works great in theory but in practice its a different beast. Maleman thinks that only me and Des are here. Everytime I look at SM its the same dozen names posting 24 times in every thread made."
What followed was series of rants, Ress berated Gim-P for being an honorless traitor, and then posted about how when building a new PC, destroyed everything, and blamed it on a 'bad motherboard'. The following month, he closed the doors of Horror-Rap and massively IP banned users. He then posted a closed-door rant to Cliff Clavin and the members of Supermensa - a message that only he and HR members could see. In the rant he claims that allegations that he hides behind doors are completely false, in hilarious contradictory fashion. Furthermore, in a show of good faith, explains that he doesn't wanton ban accounts- HE DELETES THEM FOREVER. (cue evil, maniacal laugh)
Ice Ice Baby
During the Ress onslaught on Supermensa, it was dissevered that Ress covered the Vanilla Ice classic, Ice Ice Baby. The problem with this version is that in his mumbled, gambled version of the track, the lyrics are comically indecipherable. This led to a sing-a-long version with lyrics and photo-descriptions being added to youtube. Ress was not impressed by the lull, and neither was Dego Locc. The latter was so grossly offended that his best buddy was laughed at that he began his own EDF fit and quit the jarns. In defense of the track, Ress claimed that it was simply a parody; entirely incapable of understanding that the laughs were not had at the production or quality of the song, but with how hilarious the transcription of his lyrics turned out. To this day, we don't think he understands what the hell happened here.
The MEGA Thread
The thread titled Ress vs. Supermensa, is archived the largest thread in site history.
In a rant made in December of the 2012th year of our Lord, Ress emphatically posted, "Well guess what bitches? There isn't ONE of you over there making up this racket that is TRULY qualified to make these statements. Truth hurts doesn't it. Have you guys made thousands of beats? Have you guys recorded hundreds of sessions for local rappers? Have you guys recorded hundreds of sessions for yourself? How many wives or girlfriends have you lost over 15 years cause of your "hobby"." The post itself is TL;DR, but this is the gist of it. In it, he also calls out Cliff Clavin, stating "Fool I am Zeus compared to you. I am the Deathstar and you're an X Wing. Get it? Naw you know what? Your not even an X-Wing...your R2D2 in the BACK of Mailmans X-Wing Fighter. ROFL Thats what you are. I know who I am and where I been and I have absolutely ZERO to prove to none of yall....believe whatever you want. I know the TRUTH."
Ress then posted a series of TERRIBLE memes directed at Mailman. Dego and Ress' tag teaming of unfunny was hilarious, in an ironic twist. Ress also made a collage picture of members of Supermensa, coloring in Mailman's pants colors like red and posted pictures of Evak's child. Failing to land a single punch, reading the dispute was like watching someone slam their head into a wall in self defense. In a telling sign that he was losing his mind, he registered a fake account claiming to be Evak (which we call Evil Evak) and battle rapped himself, and lost. In response, Mailman created Ress in WWE '12 and kicked his ass with TWS and Jordan.
Over next few weeks, Ress began to sink deeper and deeper into insanity, 'exposing the shills', running members off his own site (re: Desecrated), and accusing each and everyone of being a spy or shill. The site, HR, would then go through a series of moderation changes; opening and closing, and combating shills, and legitimate bot threats. They simply couldn't handle the internets.
At one point during this dispute, Ress reported Supermensa to Vbulletin in hopes that they were using an illegal version of software - because he claimed that its impossible that such an irrelevant site would use paid, legitimate software. In what can be described as an epic backfire, vBulletin found that his site, Horror-Rap, was powered by illegal software he stole from them, and was forced to foreclose.
Immediately following the closure of HR for the first time, Ress began setting up a "Jam Room" site to replace HR that he paid $300 for. He then sold it to someone named "Freddy G", who upon our finding of this secret site, closed it down. It is unknown if Freddy G recovered his money from Ress for his jarnroom.
Death and ressurrection
Following his sabbatical from the internet, speculation circulated that Ress actually killed himself in confusion; possibly from not being able to handle the mind blowing reality of the Kill Horrorcore Project. His last point of contact was a cryptic video recording he published on Youtube, where he sounded awfully sad. In reality he had a good cry and began preparation of his first in a series of videos exposing the truth behind the Supermensa Conspiressy
Ress made it his mission in life to expose the truth behind members of Supermensa. In a posting made in mid-December, he backtraced Mailman's IP address and found that he actually operates out of a cornfield in southern Ontario. Later, he showed that Evak is a perfect example of the type of people Alex Jones warn us about, "you never thought you would meet one but right there is one". Ress claims that Evak was discharged for being homosexual, despite having a wife and child. He also believes that Evak signed up to the military on September 12, 2001 while shouting out the window of his pickup, "Let's get those ragheads and make em pay boas [sic]" . Cliff Clavin was exposed for trying to convince the world that he was a horrorcore rapper once upon a time, and that he lies about funding the scene, "Yet he is sitting there pouring the gas on horror rap while Mailman holds the match. And he even posted pokemon pictures of hisself to try and??? make me feel sorry for him at how fail he is? Add him to the playhouse? I dont think I am better then you Cliff. I KNOW I AM BETTER THEN YOU. Take that shit to the bank killa....."
Another discover made by Ress was when he alleged that Desecrated and Preacher-X were, in reality, the same person. The theory states that their dual personas was an elaborate ruse put on for over a decade in order to fool the public for as of yet, reasons unknown.
Ress created Horror-Rap, and Horrorcore.com and Supermensa.org rival site, in order to distnce the Horrorcore (now named "Horror-Rap", because Ress said so) community from past sites. After failed pleas to Klown to release the domain to the wild, the first order of business in this differentiation was creating a conspiracy subjarn, the conspiracy corner. The secondary reason for forming the site was to combat the Myspace Conspiracy. While he won't admit to his vanity, there is a permanently pinned thread called ""What Ressurrector Track Have You Listened To Last".
- "Take lil stabs and shots at others. I can and do, reserve the right to bring the hammer down faster than Thor and ban ANY account I feel is guilty of either action.
- "This is a SERIOUS music site. Use "common sense" when you're here. The whole reason I made this site was so that certain people can get together on their projects and have a place to communicate with others of similar interest and make it happen. Beats............collabs..............mixing...... .........you name it. This place can be that mecca."
Horror Rap's Five Steps to Success:
Step 1) Ban every new person that signs up for arbitrary reasons.
Step 2) Insult every recently banned person for arbitrary reasons.
Step 3) Complain that the site is dying
Step 4) Vow to come back stronger
Step 5) Take that shit to the bank!
In coining the name "horror rap", Ress explained: "Wait you know what? That name horrorcore is dead...............Like nobody wants to even rep it anymore. Even Necro calls horrorcore a bunch of emo fags when basically he has been associated as horrorcore music. The name horrorcore is by now synonymous with juggalos or emotionally driven faggots who kill teenage girls in their sleep with claw hammers. Seriously......horror rap is where its at if your a rapper who likes to mix your raps and beats with horror media....horror movies...horror video games.........." And there you have it.
In his own words, "the fact that I can hold 10 guest at 1 AM EST at my radio chat is an EXAMPLE of how much of a failure that me and this music scene are. I guess it should have been 100 guest to truly impress people."
In January of 2012 Ress disappeared and closed the doors to Horror-Rap.com once again. In a public statement, Ress said the following regarding the situation:
- "I rilly rilly don't know why that uh someone would try so hard to see the things that uh, that I do, come down, and be you know, kinda poisoned, and uh, any kind of effort that I've been involved in, like, someone, uhhh, secretly wants to, ahh, make all that....not happen. Why they would do this, I have no idea. I rilly rilly don't. I don't know if it's they're working with someone - or - as much as I hate to say it, are they rampantly jealous? Somehow? Or are they jealous of me, that I'm still able to do all these things; things that they can't or WON'T do? I rilly don't know."
He remained in hiding for the next several months. Then came back. Then went into hiding again and returned with a huge beard.
Ress' Conspiracy Corner
The Conspiracy Corner was Ressurrector's outlet to exposing the worlds most obviously real coverups on Horror-Rap.com. Nearly every thread in these jarns is created, and replied to, by Ress himself. This riveting discourse is truly something one has to see to believe.
Known for his bizarre views relating to batshit insane conspiracy theories, the following is a collection of memorable statements by Ress:
Myspace was purposely sabotaged to take it way way down and make everyone jump to Facebook. Ress questions how 'the best social networking site' went from the top of the internet to irrelevancy after a single update. He also questions why people have been conditioned to refer to the site in the past tense, as if it were dead ("but its not dead!!! WTF!!!). He also questions why the world is shoving Facebook down our collective throats, and why almost every digital service on the net has access to it (apparently, he has no clue how popular Facebook is, and was living under a rock - ed.). To combat the conspiracy between MySpace and Facebook, Ress created Horror-Rap.com
On Alex Jones
- "Common sense says if he was REAL how is he still alive? Why didnt someone find him in a ditch in the 90s? think about that... and its funny how he know SO much about like everything. You ever notice that? He will talk and go off about something dumb like water faucets and he will tell you when the first one was made...and how much marble they used to make it bla bla bla....How does he have all this info????"
On the Sun
- "Why is the sun not yellow anymore? [...] Skies arent even the blue they once were. Much brighter and whiter. Hell you cant even look CLOSE to the sun no more. I remember when I was a kid u could at least look up right at it a second then look off and have a disc in your eye a second when you looked off. Now its just a giant white blob in the sky that you cant even see the disc anymore. I just know its not normal. In the superman comics they always said YELLOW sun not white sun. And I know the moon is all fucked up too. Even Tim admited it set far south one night. It rose in the North one night too!"
On the moon
Ress has observed at times that the moon is 1) missing from the clear skies at night, b) colors like red, and b) found in different positions in the sky. He reported that from 1 to 4am on one night, the moon disappeared from the universe itself. And on a following night, Ress presumably stood outside staring at the sky all night after a long day staring at the sun - cracked out his nautical star map and sextant, and noted the moon appearing in a more southward location than usual. "Tim Smooth, the illustrious moon sceptic, agrees with [him] on that!"
March 11th, 2012 Doomsday
Ress theorized that between observations of $3.11 gas prices and 3:11 clock times, the next end of the world would happen on March 11, 2012, likely due to a massive earthquake; possibly the fault of underwater nukes. Another cause could be planetary alignment, or Nibiru, and is the result of plotting by FEMA to imprison the American population.
The moon mystery was never solved. Supermensans suggest that it is possible the moon is a hologram, and that half and quarter moons (or, anything but a full moon) is evidence of the moon disappearing or disintegrating.
Desecrated and Preacher X
Using his Sherlock Homles like observation skills, Ress determined that Preacher X and Desecrated are infact one in the same. His main evidence for this is that they both like to talk about the gear they purchase online. Desecrated also made a beat that sounded slightly similar to one Preacher X made. Even though Ress has both of their addresses he can't believe the simple fact that two people who are musicians for a living like to talk about music and the equipment they purchase.
On October 31st, 2012, Ress unleashed a new site into the wild, NewGodReligion.com after releasing an intended 'viral' video aimed at promoting his new conspiracy site. The entire site was filled with threads made by himself, and only he replied to himself. RIP NGR, 10.31.12 - 11.2.12